HG FAQ: the REAL Answers

[CraginS]

Courtesy of the Hangglide group on Yahoo. Too dang funny not to share.

Cragin
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From: "Rodger Furey" <furrod1@...>
Date: Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:31 am
Subject: HG - Basic Info - The REAL answers! furrod1

1. BASIC QUESTIONS: The REAL answers.

A. How do you steer?

Steering a hang glider is like steering a horse. You can tell it
which direction you want to go but you're never really sure you're
going to go that way until you actually do. This is true for the
beginner who doesn't know quite how to persuade their glider to turn,
all the way to the highly experienced pilot getting whaled on by the
elements.

B. How high/far can a hang glider go?

Strapped to the roof of your truck a hang glider can go vast
distances, and frequently does. Most people fly around in circles and
land near where they launched. Other people fly tens, sometimes
hundreds of miles and land at a place they would otherwise have zero
interest in visiting. 18,000 feet is the highest we can legally fly.
It can be easily argued that anyone who flies higher than they're
willing to fall is not operating with a full deck.

C. How long do flights last?

As a beginner you can time your flights with a stopwatch. After
you've ruined a couple pair of jeans, and recovered from a handful of
face-plants, you can launch from higher places with somewhat longer
flights. Eventually you will find yourself so indoctrinated into our
little cult of death that you'll be willing to throw yourself off of
windy cliffs where your flights can last anywhere from a few seconds
(bad) to many hours (good).

D. Where can gliders launch and land?

You can launch from any elevated slope where you won't hit a tree,
get shot by a landowner or arrested. Just make sure it, and you, are
adequately insured by USHGA. Some people get towed by trucks or tiny
little deathtraps called ultralights. You're first impression is
correct, those people are loco.

E. How safe are hang gliders?

Come on, do you really have to ask that question? They're not. You're
talking about dangling yourself from a tiny little strap, thousands
of feet in the air on a flimsy structure made up of thin-wall
aluminum tubing and fabric, for crying out loud. We're all nuts.

2. FLYING CONDITIONS:
A. Is lots of wind necessary to launch/fly/land?

No. But if there is wind, it helps if it is blowing in the right
direction.

B. How do gliders gain altitude?

That's a secret. Cough up a few grand, sell your house, buy all the
latest and greatest equipment, alienate you wife and all your non-
hang gliding friends and family, don't forget that real nice SUV
(you'll be living in it), and maybe we'll tell you.


C. What sort of temperatures are encountered in flight?

In the USA the temperatures are usually Fahrenheit. In Europe they
are Celsius. If you're a brainiac they may even be Kelvin or Rankin.


3. PILOT REQUIREMENTS:
A. Is hang gliding physically demanding?

Hell yeah. Try hauling a 50 lb glider up a training hill all day in
the middle of the summer, or struggling with your glider on a windy
launch, or hiking back to your truck at the top of the mountain after
neglecting to make retrieval plans. If you're a 40/50ish, overweight
couch potato, suffering from a severe case of mid-life crisis, good
friggin' luck.

B. Do pilots need to be of a certain age, gender, weight or size
range?

If you have to ask your parents permission, you're too young. If you
can't handle the physical exertion, you're too old. If you're a
chick, by all means, step right up! Mars needs women. Hang gliding
needs `em too. Sumo-wrestler or NBA player? Consider something else.

C. Do pilots need to be licensed to fly hang gliders?

No, although USHGA (U.S. Hang Gliding Association) might want you to
believe otherwise. Any dumb-ass can strap themself to a glider they
purchased off e-bay (real cheap!) and try and kill themselves. It's a
free country.

D. How does a student go about learning to fly?

How do you learn anything, fool? Go to school! In this case hang
gliding school. You can try to teach yourself, but hang gliding is
not conducive to mistakes.

E. How much does all this cost?

That all depends on whether you get sucked into our cult of self-
inflicted pain and torment, or not. If you come to your senses during
your training hill period, you may find yourself out only a few
hundred dollars. If not, kiss your bank account good-bye. This stupid
sport is more addictive than crack.

[markc]

This stupid sport is more addictive than crack.

I think I'm going to use this line at the Kite Fest

[hang_pilot]

And my favorites, the cult sisters:
?
…you’ll find yourself so indoctrinated in our little cult of death…
…you get sucked into our cult of self-inflicted pain and torment…
?
Use those lines at the Festival and I’ll cut your hang-strap!
?
~Daniel
?
-----Original Message-----
From: markc [mailto:markc@chgpa.org]
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2005 11:54 PM
To: ot_forum@chgpa.org
Subject: HG FAQ: the REAL Answers
?
CraginS wrote:
This stupid sport is more addictive than crack.



I think I'm going to use this line at the Kite Fest

Code: Select all

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