, but it also is with much relief that I am able to do this for myself and that someone else is not doing it in place of me 
The accident occurred on Monday afternoon at Highland Aerosports West, the now official name for the location of the RC field when it is being used to stage flight operations (as opposed to Highland East, the normal takeoff and landing area). We all were joking about how flying out of the RC field made us feel like we were at a different flight park, so we had to give it a name. The normal staging area is undergoing a rehab in preparation for the upcoming comp.
The morning was blown out, but by mid afternoon, the time of launch; it had become variable 5-11 from the East to the Southeast on the ground and maybe 15 above. There were periods of calm wind and what seemed to be thermals blowing through from time to time. The sky was clear and visibility unlimited. Pilots present were Adam, Sunny, Christy Huddle and Rich Alexander. I was flying a Wills Wing U2 160 with the stream line control frame and wheels; I use a High Energy cocoon harness and Icaro full face helmet. I am 55 years old and this is my sixth season in the sport. I only aero tow from Highland and do not fly during the winter. I have had the U2 since September of 2003.
The tow toward the east was a little choppy but not too extreme, passing through punchy areas of lift and sink, the typical spring mixing bowl. I released early at about 1800?after having passed through what I thought was some decent lift. I spent all my time drifting downwind pushing out in lift, diving out the back side in sink, coming around and then pushing out in the lift again, over and over and loosing altitude. The core was narrow and the edges sharp. It was all very tiring since I was pretty sore from flying the day before for the first time since October. I am not in very good shape this time of the year.
Since I was tired and the air was rowdy I decided to set up for a long conservative right hand approach into the RC field. My downwind leg, heading west, was choppy, base and final were smooth until I hit a big bump of lift (thermal?) at the threshold between the RC field and wheat field coming in on final. All was fine until now. Now came the critical decision point causing the accident. As I was getting bumped up the first thing that entered my mind was, crap, now I am going to miss my spot and go really long, the next mistake was thinking I had just gained enough altitude for a quick 360 to the left to come around for a new lower final. The actual altitude I had is not too clear, but I?ll guess less than 100?. Going long would have presented no problem other than a longer walk back; I had plenty of clear landing area in front of me. I chose to execute the 360.
As I was turning I saw my altitude dropping extremely fast and became very concerned but not panicky. I had false confidence. I pulled in as I banked left into the crosswind component. I then lost reference to my landing point, to the horizon and to my attitude. If I had been more clear-headed at this point I would have turned the 360 into a 270 and landed cross wind into the wheat field which would have been better than what happened next.
I got fixated on completing the 360. As I started pushing out and coming around in the turn and watching the ground approach rapidly I saw that my left wing tip was about to impact the ground first, but somehow I had the false belief that I would recover it. Then, like the transition between scenes in a movie I went from the picture of that wingtip to looking up at the sky with absolutely no memory of who I was, where I was or what time or date it was and having these strangers looking down on me. I had no idea that I had just crashed. I was probably out only for a few seconds although I have actually no idea. I knew I could speak and understand English because someone asked me a question and I understood them and answered them back. I asked where I was and someone said, Highland, and I wondered what was I doing at Highland? Sunny said he told me I was at Highland ?West? and he said I laughed. Sunny asked me if I knew what day it was, I thought about it and said I had no idea, and then he said, ?let?s call 911?. I could not remember my wife?s work number but was eventually able to recall her cell. The ambulance arrived, there was some discussion and a decision was made to airlift me to Maryland shock trauma in Baltimore to be on the safe side. While waiting for the helicopter my memory faculties slowly started to return back to normal. The helicopter ride was a surreal sensation of motion, vibration and sound, with strobing sunlight reflecting off the ceiling. I was in a trippy world.
At the hospital I was monitored, scanned and checked thoroughly and eventually given a good bill of health. The great folks there released me with instructions to take it easy for a few days and monitor myself for any adverse symptoms. I walked out with a cut and swollen nose, a minor laceration in back of my right knee, slightly sore throat from helmet impact, a very sore neck, and the world?s worst hangover, feeling extremely thankful for being spared any major injuries.
My helmet was returned to me at the hospital, the mud residue on the forehead and chin guard area, along with the dirt up my nose and in my mouth and swollen nose indicted a full face impact with the ground. The full face ICARO helmet and the soft ground of the wheat field were a significant factor in my not having a major facial injury. I was still prone when I impacted the ground and there was a significant amount of dirt on my parachute which probably helped cushion my impact. I just recently bought an open face helmet for mounting my new video camera to. That helmet will never be used for hang gliding.
Both down tubes and the lower flying wires on the glider will need replacing, Sunny will give it a complete inspection for me and see if any other damage was sustained.
Conclusion
First, I want to thank Adam and Sunny for preventing me from trying to get up or move my head around until help arrived, and for taking care of me, my glider, and other personal items. I also want to apologize for exhibiting poor judgment at their flight park.
At this time I am evaluating my future in the sport and what I will do from here. Fortunately I have the support of my family to continue on if I choose to, and I appreciate that, since I really upset everyone with what I did. I have a major question right now about my ability to make proper decisions with regard to flying and I owe it to my family and flying friends to be able to do this if I continue on.
It?s now time to get honest.
This is the second time I have pulled a low 360. The first time was when I was a new solo pilot and it was from 25 feet in my Pulse and that time I got away with it. The crew was not too pleased. I have a tendency to take risks that crop up from time to time. This was evident in other sports I have done e.g. skydiving and motorcycles. I have a risk taking personality, although I try to keep in check some times it sneaks out.
I also have a problem with getting bumped up on final approaches and it throwing my spot off, I get confused on how to handle it. Since I like to go XC I also have a fear of how to handle it if I am forced to land in a restricted field (although I shouldn?t allow that to have to happen). And why haven?t I ever mentioned these concerns to someone before? I feel I have to figure out and solve problems on my own instead of asking for help. I have a tendency to not ask for help if it may make me look stupid, although I do ask for help I am not consistent with it.
What made me think I could get away with that turn when Adam said that as soon as I executed it he knew I wasn?t going to make it? I was not in the best frame of mind for executing proper judgment. I misjudged my altitude and my ability, especially in light of the conditions of the air. I admit that at final approach I was a confused person. Why?
I was tired and I am sensitive to excessive sunlight. Sunlight and I have a love hate relationship. I need it to feel well being and love to be out in it, but too much of it can make me feel bad and muddle my brain, especially after being out in the open all day at the airport. Usually I need a few days to feel better if I get too much. If I don?t get enough of it I start to feel depressed. I especially need to acclimate myself to it after the winter months. It helps me to keep covered and use ample sun screen. I used no sunscreen that day. I know I should have used sunscreen but deliberately chose not to. Sometimes I do not properly look after myself.
I also had a sense of false self confidence because of how well I performed flying the previous day after a 6 month absence. I pushed my self too much by choosing to fly another day in a row; I monitored my condition and found myself to be less then 100% but chose to push on anyway. I should have been satisfied with what I got on Sunday and not pushed myself to fly again on Monday. I sometimes ignore vital signs and clues.
I was impatient to get quickly back up to peak flying ability so I can continue to increase my flying skills. I feel I am getting older and time may be running out. Hey there guy, your time did almost run out!
I tend to be impatient.
I know at times I can be a very good pilot, I know at times I can be a very poor pilot. I know I can be inconsistent which bugs me. I want to be consistent all the time but can I?
Can I be happy in this sport as just a casual pilot with just average abilities and not push myself to have the best flight of the day or the longest XC? What do I expect of myself? I only fly half the year. I don?t get that much time in, I can?t expect myself to match up to the others that have years of flying experience and airtime. If I am up for an hour I can be very happy and content to land, but I have found myself pushing my limits trying to eke out the extra time for a new personal record. My wife asked me what ever happened to the days you came home on cloud 9 after just having a few evening sled rides. What about that thing you wrote about always being in the sweet spot and never forgetting the day you soloed. Can I be content on not taking risks and choosing not to fly during times I am not at 100%? Can I trust myself to stand down when I need to, or to consistently do what I need to take care of myself? Can I ask for help? Can I be safe in an aircraft? Can I attain consistency?
I will not fly again until I can honestly answer those questions.
I would like myself to be that pilot who is comfortable with their limitations, can work within them and accept whatever results that brings, rather than be like I am, someone who wants to hide their limitations and present myself as something more than what I really am; a person with a lot of limitations.
So, in summary I will not choose to state that the cause of the accident was performing a 360 turn too close to the ground, but say: The cause of the accident was pilot made a series of bad choices fueled by defects in personality traits.
During my time in this sport I have learned a lot about myself and always felt it was helping me to be a better person, I still very much believe in that.
Thanks for lending your ear, sorry for all the personal stuff, but this has been a good exercise for me and will hopefully help me to improve on my faults. If anyone who was a witness to my accident and has some insight or corrections to add to my report please reply.
Thanks again.
