Hang glider pilot tries to kill self with screwdriver!!

Flying Lobster · Post by **Flying Lobster** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:10 pm

It looks like I'll be out of action
this week cause I've finally decided to get the f^%king piece of s$#t zipper
on my Rotor fixed after putting up for years with jams and unexpected
seperations.

This was a hard decision--but I almost killed myself on Saturday trying to
get out of the harness and that was when I knew it was time.

How can you get killed by a stuck zipper after safely landing, you might
ask? I'll tell you.

After landing in the blazing heat of the LZ, the top toggle was stuck about
mid-way, so it was impossible to get out. I couldn't find a pair of pliers
to pry it loose, so I stuck a flathead screwdriver through the toggle eye
and pulled up as hard as I could. The eye bent open, and the screwdriver
shot out and went up my nose and almost through the side. A little more
force and a little straighter and it probably could have gone straight up
into my skull--which apparently is quite thick.

So I pulled the screwdriver out and now not only am I stuck in my pod in the
LZ in the blazing heat--but I'm frantically running around with a jet of
blood squirting from my nose looking for a way to plug it up. Hats, gloves,
shirts etc. get a good soaking before a visiting pilot in a condo graciously
offers his bathroom up to clean up. Thanks Angelo Mantis!

marc

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:13 pm

Ok, important safety note to self: Do NOT trust the Finkster with power tools.

Post by **deveil** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:26 pm

good god man! that was a bold and brave thing posting that! and it was so horifically funny and hilariously horific - well just Had to say something.

Flying Lobster · Post by **Flying Lobster** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:38 pm

I hope to be able to laugh about it too--but right now it hurts way too much to laugh!

It's been unbelievably hot here--record heat for the second day in a row. Huge altitude gains but southerly winds are real hard to deal with around here.

marc

Post by **deveil** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:50 pm

consider button-fly jeans

Paul Tjaden · Post by **Paul Tjaden** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:56 pm

Holy Crap, Marc!!!

I understand that the ancient Egyptians did something similar to that to remove the brains from their dead royalty during mummifying.......(I think I'd better stop right there.)

Sorry.....I just couldn't resist. Hope your injury is not too severe.

Paul

Post by **Gene** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:50 pm

Yeah, Yeah! you got a nose ring and needed a good story to tell.
Glad to hear your OK.
Gene

Flying Lobster · Post by **Flying Lobster** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:27 pm

The only bad part was that it wasn't videod--I'm sure it would have been a top place finisher for "America's funniest [dumbest] Videos"

marc

Post by **mcelrah** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 9:42 pm

I saw something like this in Chinatown with Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. Very glamorous and sexy! - Hugh
P.S. Thanks for the laugh and hope you heal quickly and completely.

Post by **deveil** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:41 am

so i'm looking out at the back yard, cherry blossoms just booming, yellow daffodils and forsithia, cardinals chasing about - and All I Can See is a vision of You staggering about and struggling with a screwdriver up your friggin nose! like peter sellers trying to keep his own hand from strangling him in your favorite movie, dr. stranglove!
that'll teach me (to be more selective about my choice of reading materials!)

today ought to be about the day it Really starts hurting - might try snorting some crushed ice.

Flying Lobster · Post by **Flying Lobster** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:10 pm

deveil wrote:so i'm looking out at the back yard, cherry blossoms just booming, yellow daffodils and forsithia, cardinals chasing about - and All I Can See is a vision of You staggering about and struggling with a screwdriver up your friggin nose! like peter sellers trying to keep his own hand from strangling him in your favorite movie, dr. stranglove!
that'll teach me (to be more selective about my choice of reading materials!)

today ought to be about the day it Really starts hurting - might try snorting some crushed ice.

I can't say exactly why--but the thought of you dreaming about me in pain amid idyillic blossoming flowers is somehow disquieting to me, Gary.

marc

Post by **deveil** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:30 pm

well Yeah! that's what i was bitching about!
it was disquieting to Me also - as well as cringe inducing (in an amusing entertaining sort of way) .

i'd just checked the forum and had seen that hugh had added something. after reading about your self mutilation again, i was having these hilarious/grotesque (no surprise there, eh) pictures of you careening around, out of control, wrestling a giant screw driver that was intent on penetrating your skull through your nose!
and had it succeeded? what a bizarre scene would have greeted whoever discovered you - you know, you lying there on your back, in your harness, looking like the comic strip penguin "Opus", with a screw driver sticking out of your nose, perhaps some daffodils by your head. resultant newspaper word play. stuff like that.
i had to really stifle all the different ways available to rip on you - but since you brought it up. . .

make sure to take a picture when your black eye develops and your face turns yellow and green and purple.

cheers